What is Spiritual Direction / Spiritual Companioning?
When I tell people that I am an Interfaith Spiritual Director/Companion, the question(s) that often and inevitably follow are something like:
“What is spiritual direction?”
“What exactly do you do in Spiritual Direction?”
“Is it like therapy?”
“Do I have to be a Christian?”
“Do I have to believe in God?”
Let me offer some clarity…
Spiritual direction, also sometimes referred to as spiritual companioning, is not only for those who are already on a spiritual path, or who regularly practice or belong to a specific religion or faith tradition. Spiritual companioning is for anyone who is seeking, or desiring a deeper connection to “something”? I personally refer to that “something” as God, however, I know that each one of us will come to that “something” with different understandings, perceptions, or expectations. That “something” may be faceless, nameless, or foreign to us in many ways – it may even be something that we have come to fear and despise. We can let our time in spiritual direction become that sacred space where that “something” may start to become even more revealed, more familiar, and even more loving over time.
I believe that we each come to God* in our own personal way… in our own perfect time… and with our own unique understanding of who/what God is. I will often use the holy name GOD, but I understand and support another’s desire to refer to God using another holy name …*Source, Spirit, Universe, Higher Power, Mother, Father, Light, Love, etc… – all of it is welcome! The time spent with a spiritual director should be a safe place to gain more clarity and develop a better understanding of the who, what, where, or how the Divine shows up for each one of us while moving along on our individual spiritual journeys.
My “cradle” faith tradition is Roman Catholicism, and while I am grateful for the foundation and the early formation that the Roman Catholic faith tradition has provided, I have come to understand, and truly believe, that there is so much more to God… to religion… to the nature of spirituality… and to our human condition than I was first introduced to. I have always felt the presence of God around me, especially when I am quiet and tuned in. I have heard God speak to me, and while I do not claim to have a clear *image* of God in my mind, I fully trust and feel that I am exactly where I need to be on my own path, and I firmly believe that I have been supported and held by an unconditionally loving, and powerfully divine presence in every moment.
How profoundly beautiful would it be if every human being could feel so safely held, loved, and divinely supported in their own life!? Spiritual direction should be able to provide just that! A safe, nonjudgmental, and supportive space where one can show up in their whole, unique, and true self – just as we are, and exactly where we are on our path at that very moment! Again, I say – all of it is welcome! – those aspects of oneself that are seen as beautiful, complete, and inspiring… and the parts that may be seen as fragmented, complex, or discouraging.
In our scheduled session you will be given the personal space and gentle support to navigate a particular question, inspiration or personal situation that may be coming to light in your life, especially one that may be causing you to feel distressed or concerned. How might the Divine be showing up, moving within you or around you during this time? I will use the symbolic lighting of a single candle to serve as a gentle reminder that the unconditional love, support, and energy of the Divine is present with us in our session. The time is yours to navigate, explore, and express while I will work to maintain a space that is safe, gently supportive, and tenderly held for you.
Some may seek out spiritual direction/companionship because they have not felt safe in other spiritual spaces or traditions. There may have been very little support, freedom, or encouragement to ask deeply personal questions or explore quietly held curiosities, and often out of fear of condemnation, persecution, or harsh judgment – especially while moving through the context of our own unique experience and understanding of what is holy and sacred to us.
Some seek out a professional relationship with a trusted spiritual companion after having been deeply wounded by the faith tradition that they were raised in, or are currently apart of, and felt they were not receiving the support, guidance, or acceptance that they felt they deserved. Yet, despite that wounding, they still have a deep longing to connect, cultivate and strengthen a relationship with the God or Higher Power of their own understanding.
Or some may seek out spiritual direction because they do not currently belong to, or resonate with a particular faith tradition, but they have questions or curiosities, and they want a safe, supportive environment in which they can begin to inquire, and establish a connection to a spiritual practice, or a particular faith tradition – a connection to the Divine! A spiritual direction relationship may only be a few sessions, or it might be a path that runs the course of several years or decades – all of it is okay, all of it is exactly what it needs to be, and it is determined by the one seeking spiritual direction/companionship.
While I feel that I am very capable of holding a sacred space with most humans, meaning those of a different race, identity, religious or spiritual background, or political or social affiliation, I feel especially called to be with those who may feel separate, othered, misunderstood, unseen, or unheard in our social communities. My heart is especially touched by the journeys and stories of our incarcerated, or formerly incarcerated, brothers and sisters… our youth – very young children and older youth – who need a safe place to express their thoughts or feelings, or who may feel unseen or misunderstood by others in their circles… and those who have generally felt unseen, unaccepted, or dismissed by religious institutions and other social circles and environments.
I can resonate with and be a gentle advocate and spiritual support for those who are struggling with questions or find themselves conflicted about their own spiritual traditions and experiences; those who have been overlooked by hierarchal institutions, or who are seeking other spiritual contexts or new sacred paths to explore! I believe that the Divine (God, Source, Higher Power) is so much greater than any one religion or group of humans, and we are all connected to each other and to our natural, physical world – some of us have just forgotten this along the way…
Sidenote: I have been seeing my own beloved spiritual director on a regular basis for over 16 years and I have learned so much about myself and my connection to what my personal understanding of God is to me. I have received regular and gentle guidance in a supportive, calm, safe, and nonjudgmental space – a sacred space, just for me and God, that holds me as I voice my curiosities and questions, while I dissect and navigate the bigger discernments and challenges that show up on my life’s path, while I connect with and fall in love again and again with the One who loves me most.
Every trip I make around the sun offers me more opportunities to intersect and interact with other humans. Others who think and reason differently, who look and speak differently, who have unique traditions and are influenced by rich cultures and ancestral lineages… those who have overcome adversities of every kind, and those who have kindly shared the beautiful gifts and blessings life has kindly bestowed on them.
In many of these intersections and interactions I have also been shown, time and time again, that what often really connects us is a desire to connect – to connect to each other, to connect with our natural surroundings, and to connect with something outside of ourselves… something unseen – unknowable even – but yet this something often has an intricate pull on our human minds, our inquiries, and our curiosities…
I recently visited my mother in a large hospital in Sacramento just a couple days after she was admitted. After navigating a maze of a parking garage, elevators, and long neutral-colored corridors… after passing nurses stations, and patients’ rooms, I find myself in my mom’s private room.
Machines humming… tubes and cords tangled and hanging like spaghetti as various fluids move and drip, drip, dripping… monitors are beeping… and a jagged green line is blipping a soft reassurance that a heart is still beating…
Nurses and hospital staff are moving about, in and out, busily tending to the many needs… and after several minutes my need was for a little stillness… a little quiet… somewhere else… not there.
I step out into the hallway with my backpack on my shoulder and I walk a few steps and sit near a window just to be still … be quiet with my thoughts… a desire to assess what it is I am actually wanting in this moment… what I am feeling… needing…
I know that most hospitals have a meditation room, spiritual center or chapel of some kind… and a nurse dressed in black scrubs passed by and I inquired as to where that space might be…
Making my way to the second floor I walk through a very ordinary and plain door into a quiet, nicely lit space. There were several chairs arranged in a purposeful and specific formation, all facing the front where there was a small table with some candles and a bowl of bright, yellow flowers floating on some water: the altar – or at least in my familiar Roman Catholic “cradle-faith” tradition that is what I would have called it. However, there was no crucifix, corporal, or tabernacle present – all things that you would likely find in a Roman Catholic sanctuary…
And I imagine to another person, or faith-tradition, this little “altar” might be just a simple table holding some sweet yellow flowers floating in water, and candles to gently enhance and brighten the space…
I stood there a moment knowing that I was seemingly alone… blessedly alone… and curious. I wandered about the space in silence… slowly, almost reverently, because even though this space seemed very plain, institutional, sterile, and minimally enhanced, it still seemed to warrant a quiet and meaningful reverence; it felt like a holy place, and I was walking on sacred ground… a space that has held the concerns, thoughts and prayers of many before me…
Continuing to explore I walked through an entry way into another side room … still, there was no one else present, I was still alone. On the wall there was a simple display of various prayer cards… holy words and texts from various faith traditions; some in different languages…
I looked through the prayers… some of the titles and words were familiar to me because they were of my own tradition, and others familiar because of my recent formation and certification as an interfaith spiritual director – but even still, there was a tiny hesitant part of me that wondered if I would be encroaching on another faith tradition if I read them… or prayed them? They were likely printed and displayed to be used as such, but would I be crossing an invisible boundary, or intruding on a faith tradition that was not my own? After a little internal “check-in” I figured it was okay to take a copy of texts that resonated beautifully with my curious, seeking spirit… especially the following:
May I feel protected and safe. May I feel contented and pleased. May MY physical body support me with strength. May I be free of suffering and free of the causes of suffering…May YOU feel protected and safe. May YOU feel contented and pleased. May YOUR physical body support you with strength. May YOU be free of suffering and free of the causes of suffering… May ALL BEINGS feel protected and safe. May ALL BEINGS feel contented and pleased. May ALL BEINGS physical bodies support them with strength. May ALL BEINGS be free of suffering and free from the cause of suffering. (The Metta Resolves/Buddhism)
Upon walking further into this side room, I noticed a small round floor pillow in the corner… and in some cubbies in the wall I saw what I thought might be prayer shawls, or some other sacred textiles provided for prayer or meditation. I didn’t go close or touch them… I left them undisturbed, figuring it was not mine to touch, after all, this was not a museum of sacred relics, these were holy and sacred instruments for those who knew better what they were, and what they were used for. I wandered back into the main room where I noticed three books positioned on three stands.
Still alone in this space, I walked over and noticed they were the holy texts of the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam – again, something that I explored and learned a little about in my previous spiritual director formation…
Seeing these three sacred books from three different sacred traditions placed side by side moved me… intrigued me… and I found it beautiful to be gifted this moment to stay quietly with this awareness that in front of me were three sacred texts of three different religious traditions – religious traditions that are often at odds in our global human experience – yet these texts are together, side by side on this table in this little peaceful space, in a hospital in Sacramento. I feel this is how it should always be – welcoming and familiar to all who enter! All are welcome – and anyone who needed to be held in the familiar comfort, inspiration, and wisdom of the texts or instruments from their own spiritual or religious tradition would find them readily available to them…
Still alone in this sacred space I walked over to a chair against the wall facing the beautiful table with yellow floating flowers and candles and I just sat there… quietly being aware of the simple sweet aesthetic of the space… aware of the thoughts and emotions just below the surface of my skin… I felt okay in that moment… subtly aware of where I was… but mostly I was calm and present… knowing deep inside I wasn’t really alone at all…
A moment later another person walked in… a man with dark hair and a beard, in tan-colored scrubs walked quietly passed me and into the side room that I had previously explored. And another moment later I heard his voice softly speaking words… almost as a melody… a song… a prayer? I couldn’t make out the words… I really didn’t need to. I came back to my own heart-space, my own thoughts, and my desire to be quiet and connect to something that is higher than myself, something that has been present throughout my life… I imagine just as this man in the other room did.
Two humans, from different backgrounds, different traditions, different understandings of many things I assume… two humans in the same space, perhaps with a similar desire or need to know that there is sustenance and support, there is love, there is peace when in connection with this force, as we were both doing simultaneously on opposite sides of a wall… connecting with a seemingly invisible force… some call it God… some call it Allah… some call it Love… Light… Energy… Source… Spirit… How lovely, how human, that there are many names, many prayers, many rituals used to connect with something that is readily available to each one of us, if we desire it…
Being With, Honoring, and Upholding the Feminine Spirit
This past Sunday my teenage son and I attended a matinée showing of the new “Barbie” movie that was just released, taking advantage of the free pass I had and the “all movies are $8 on Mondays” deal for my son’s ticket. I have been hearing fabulous things about this movie and I was very curious to see what all the buzz was about! It did NOT disappoint! In fact, it gave me much to unpack and discern regarding what it is to be in a *woman’s body, heart, mind and spirit – especially since I have been all but consumed by the “feminine-centered” facets of our human species this past week. So, please allow me to unpack and share my observations and experiences, all of them speaking to my connection with my own feminine identity and the identities of those I have recently shared space, time and interactions with – there is a thread of connection for me and I strongly feel called to express and share it…
The early part of last week I spent three days – 7+ hours each day – volunteering with Compassion Prison Project (CPP) in the Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF) in Chowchilla, CA. A non-profit organization, founded by a woman, and with a mission of bringing healing and compassion to our incarcerated populations; a mission that is very near and dear to my heart! My 3-nights of lodging and some of my meals for the three days were covered so that gas was pretty much my only expense – something that this currently un/under-employed woman was truly grateful for!
I have served as a volunteer many times in facilities that house our male incarcerated population, and I loved every minute of it! I witnessed just how powerful the seemingly insignificant act of listening to, and really seeing, another person as a divine human can bring about a significant positive transformation in such a short amount of time! Truly – MIRACLES took place right before my very eyes!
Holding space inside with the men was easy for me, and truly enlightening and transforming… so how would it be to hold space with other women, as a woman?! To be quite honest it was not something that I was initially attracted to doing at all, and I think my rationale was this:
*Wouldn’t there be sort of a “competitive nature” – woman sharing space with women?
*Would I be seen as a threat, a competitor, or someone presenting a similar biological identity who might be viewed as being “above” them in some way – superior to them because I am not in their current situation?
*Would I be viewed as a “know it all” woman – a woman who “has her sh*t together” and would never do anything that would lead to incarceration?
*Would they be offended if I saw them, or even addressed them, as a sister – something I do with my girlfriends and other feminine counterparts in my world? The very last thing I would want to do is trigger or traumatize them more than they already were. And I do see them as a fellow human being, a beloved sister in the eyes of God/Spirit/Creator/Universe…
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While I was very hesitant in many ways, I was also very curious as to how the energy would be while sharing a circle with my sisters – these beautiful, divine women – many of whom have traveled a very different, and a likely more traumatic, path in many ways…
*Could/would I be seen and held as a safe friend, human – a sister – and someone who could relate to them on some level?
*Do we hold some of the same hurts and wounds that being female-identifying would subject us to in this world and in these times?
*Would we – could we – form a bond of understanding and shared experiences because of the prevalent themes of oppression, sexism, objectifying, minimizing, and the other harmful and dehumanizing conditions that plague our societies?
*Will we have some of the same sources of joy and laughter that simply being alive can offer?
*Could I offer them an open, non-judgmental heart while owning and remaining true to my own feminine nature, power and understanding of what it is to be a woman?
I was fortunate to be given an opportunity to answer all, if not more, of the questions I posed above. As I walked through the gates of the women’s detention facility in Chowchilla, CA on the morning of July 17th I silently asked for the grace to stay open, curious, and I was excited to spend 24 hours inside during the next 3 days with hundreds of women. Many of these beautiful women hold onto similar wounds as I do… many of them had children (some grandchildren) at home as I do… many of them have suffered from repeated heartbreak, abandonment issues, “daddy” issues, difficult relationships, oppression, and sexism as I have/do… and many of them have experienced things I could never – nor would want to – imagine!
As CPP’s “compassion circle exercise” that is held each time we go into a prison facility so blatantly points out – we all have so much more in common than we might initially realize! We ALL gather in a circle in the gym or on the yard and we are asked a series of 20 questions – and these are hard and very revealing questions! The questions ask us about past traumatic experiences – ranging from abuse (in all its forms), to suicide, to poverty, to racism and sexism, to bullying, violence, and substance use – it is ALL trauma and it affects us ALL whether we realize it or not.
If we, the participants answer “yes” to an adverse experience we take a step inside the circle. It quickly becomes apparent, and it is truly heart/mind/eye-opening to see the looks on the faces as we all become aware that we are NOT alone in our suffering… many of us have been made to feel alone. We think that no one can relate to our pain and our suffering, and we are embarrassed, ashamed, or self-deprecating. We often isolate ourselves within our own “self-made” walls – a false sense of protection? It is not easy being within our internal walls of crippling thoughts and painful memories… AND… it is not easy to step outside our often-self-imposed walls because then we are vulnerable and possibly exposed to more wounds, potential shame, and further trauma.
So, what do we do? How in the world do we navigate this challenging part of being human?
We NEED connection…we NEED support… we NEED validation, and we NEED to be lovingly accepted for who we are – from the moment we take our first breath! Many of us have forgotten… we have been molded… conditioned… and programmed to fear… programmed to judge (wrongfully) … to turn away from … to ignore… to look past… to look beyond our brother or sister … some of it (much of it!) because of religion… because of race… culture… gender… and the list goes on… and on…
If we can remain genuinely curious, open, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable– especially when the threat of harm, ridicule, or attack is minimal or none – then oh, what a precious gift we can receive – a uniquely HUMAN experience like no other! To meet another’s eyes – even in their pain – and hold that space with them… courageously unflinching, and unafraid of the tears and emotions that may happen… staying uncomfortable for a few moments… then a beautifully magnificent transformation can take place!
During our time inside various detention facilities, we (CPP) introduce what we call the “Namaste Exercise” – where we are asked to find a partner – one that we do not already know and preferably someone of a different race or ethnicity – and then we sit across from one another. One is asked to sit with eyes closed (or looking down) while their partner just witnesses them while gentle music is played in the background and some guided, reflective statements are read for all to consider in silence. Questions like:
*Imagine that this person has suffered from some of the same hurts/painful experiences you have…
*Imagine that this person wants to live freely, and in a world of peace like you do…
*Imagine that this person is kind, loving and generous just like you try to be…
*Imagine that this person wants to do better just like you… ETC. ETC.
Afterwards the two participants switch roles and the other takes a turn to be the witness, and the questions are repeated. This exercise/experience is one of my favorites during our CPP visits and I will ALWAYS end up with tears streaming down my face … which will often accompany the other’s tears or inspire tears of their own.
** Sidenote: I will say this… I have noticed there is sometimes a very different energy while holding this “Namaste” space with a male counterpart. It is common knowledge that men are often thought of as not being able to, or are comfortable with displaying vulnerability or sensitive reactions like crying or gentleness for whatever reason – I’m certain there are many reasons – and so when I hold this same kind of space with a man, in a men’s facility, I am often curious as to how they witness or experience my tears when they start to fall and I will ask them as such when it’s time to share what we experienced… and at the same time it’s always an honor, and deeply connecting, for me to witness and hold their tears when they start to fall, and afterwards I thank them for that opportunity, and reassure them that they are safe with me.
Again, this is just another example of relating to another human, and relating to the full scope of their human experience – know that the majority of is akin to own experiences. It also requires a deep level of trust to allow another to witness us while we have our eyes closed – it is the most vulnerable state of being that we can imagine – with our eyes closed we don’t know what’s coming… what is around us… and we are trusting that the other person “has our back” and will protect us while witnessing us. I will note that these trauma circles do ask all the participants to be vulnerable and we try to provide a safe environment so that vulnerability is possible – and what is experienced because of this is life-changing, unexpectedly transformational! All of it beautiful!!
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I returned home from Chowchilla late Wednesday night and woke up on Thursday to get things rolling for renewing my substitute teaching permit – as I am trying to piece together ways to establish steady income while I am manifesting and growing my new calling/career… and so I called the local education office to set up my finger printing appointment. Silly me, I thought that this part of the application and renewal process would be covered by the education office, but I discovered that it was not. When the woman – I will refer to her as “L” – on the phone told me it would cost $81 to get fingerprinted, I started to get emotional, thinking about how things are so financially tight for me right now, and the thought of spending $81 – even beneficially – makes me sad, nervous, frustrated, discouraged… and … VULNERABLE.
I paused quietly I imagine “L” could sense my pause and then through the forming tears I explained my disappointment and surprise at the fee for this needed requirement of fingerprinting. I asked if there was a waiver I could apply for – it never hurts to ask, right? She could hear my discouragement and said she would ask her supervisor and get back to me. She called me back a little later and told me that she, herself, would take care of the fee for me… telling me that she “had been in my footsteps in the past and we sisters need to look out for one another” … I could not speak for a moment upon digesting her words and then, overcome by her sisterly support and generosity, and through a broken voice, I softly replied with deep gratitude and appreciated for her and her gift to me and made my appointment for the following Monday. In gratitude for her kind sisterly understanding and support, I showed up with a small vase – as I keep several on hand to give away when the opportunity arises – of freshly picked roses from my garden as a small token of thanks for her understanding of me and ability to relate to me and then act in a way that truly witnessed and upheld my dignity and significance as a human in need.
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Fast forward to Monday morning and just before my fingerprinting appointment at the local Office of Education, I was scheduled to lead a music circle at a local women’s day shelter. Earlier this summer I had answered a call for women musicians to join Play It Forward, a local organization that brings music to underserved and marginalized populations. Several local female musicians had signed up to be in rotation to bring an hour of music of any kind on Mondays (Music Mondays) to the women and children at the shelter/day center. Gratefully, through Play It Forward, we musicians would be compensated a stipend for our time and talent – but what we would be bringing to these impoverished, abused and traumatized humans at the shelter would be priceless!
This would be my first time to lead a “Music Mondays” session and so I brought my basket of small percussion instruments, about 5 of my djembe drums, my speaker and a couple of simple, all-inclusive, songs that I could easily teach and lead over the course of an hour. I did not know who would show up, it could be one person, or it could be 20!
I had about 3 women and two of them had toddlers with them… and over that hour we played on the drums, we shook the shaker eggs, clicked the rhythm sticks, moved our bodies with the music and filled the space with sweet sounds of singing the easy tune of “Funga Alafia” – a song of welcome, inclusivity, witness, and peace from Western Africa. This is a beloved song that I have taught hundreds of children in my music classroom over the past 3 years.
We smiled… we danced… we beat the drums… we connected through our music making… we connected through our womanhood… our human sisterhood… our shared humanity … and for a little while we forgot! We forgot about the hard things – the hurts… the sadness… the pain… and the bruises… the worry… or the fears that plague our every day existences… and we had fun! These beautiful women… these mothers… these daughters… these aunties… and sisters … some of whom might be currently experiencing similar traumatic circumstances that the women I held space with at the Central California Women’s Facility have experienced.
So, for an hour on a Monday morning in July, we remembered… we returned to our true human center – our true goddess magnificence… we returned to our joy-center… we beautiful sisters stepped back into our true nature of play and curiosity with a desire to connect meaningfully and socially with other sisters… with other humans … and we had fun!
It is not lost on me that over the course of a week in July 2023, I was surrounded by the beautiful energies of many sisters – many women whom I was blessed to encounter, to witness, to share tears with, and to sing songs with… whether through a movie screen (Barbie movie)… or in a circle of tears, grieving and healing while behind metal fences and barbed wires in a central California women’s prison … or in a circle of play, drumming, singing and dancing at a local women’s shelter… or a sister holding my hand as I was getting my fingertips scanned!
Many of these sisters I have never met before… and many I will likely never see again… but I was touched… I was sparked… I was inspired… I was empowered… I was divinely placed among, and purposefully and intricately connected to other feminine hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits… I was connected through shared sorrows, traumatic experiences, fears, hurts, disappointments, mistakes, and tears… I was akin to laughter, joy, play motherhood, daughterhood, sisterhood… and in and through all of it I was reminded that we need each other – and it is time, it is necessary, and it is good!
*While I deeply honor and respect that there are many ways to self-identify, in this reflection I am going to speak more to the cisgender woman energy, understanding, and identity.
My sweet toddler niece with Mary in St. Francis Basilica in San Francisco, CA
I was in music class with my funny and squirrely first graders yesterday afternoon… I had an age-appropriate mini-lesson planned about Mozart, being that he’s our “birthday boy” and composer of the month … but sometimes – *especially* with first graders – little hands pop up (or not!) and the question being asked has absolutely nothing to do with the lesson at hand – but it’s obviously something that REALLY needs to be brought up.
I like to think of these things as “Spirit Moments” or “Soul Lessons” … and the places these moments can take us may cause us to rely heavily on an innate trust that we will know what to say and how to say it for the highest good of all concerned…
As I have journeyed through many “trips around the sun”, I have become more confident in that level of trust in something greater than myself – a Divine presence and connection that always “has my back” – and that I will know how to best navigate the situation at hand, and always with the best of intentions…
Little “Hazel” raised her hand and she immediately started to talk about the recent flooding and thunderstorms and how these made her feel… and then with a very serious and concerned face she proceeded to talk about a local 2-year-old boy who was tragically killed when a large tree fell on his home – as her parents had shared with her.
I could see some of the other kids’ reactions at hearing this – as it was very likely “news” to them, and they had not yet heard about this tragedy. I could immediately sense the energy shift in the room and witnessed some looks of deep concern and questioning on these young 6-year-old faces. So, in my mind I was quickly debating on whether or not to allow “Hazel” to continue sharing her thoughts on this tragedy, or to somehow gently revert the conversation back to our music class.
I let her continue for a few more thoughts…
At the same I was trying to figure out a way to comfort the young and questioning minds of the others … and when “Hazel” was finished sharing her concerns, I paused and then I immediately commented on how sad this is and how sad this little boy’s parents must be. And how sometimes these sad things happen, and we don’t know why they happen. So, I suggested to the children that perhaps we can put our hands on our hearts and stay quiet for a moment and send some love to this little boy’s soul and to his parents and grandparents and all those who know and love him.
And so, with hands on hearts, I had these little humans take slow quiet inhales while thinking of the little boy and his family. And then I had them exhale slowly while filling that breathy air with thoughts of love and peace for the little boy and his family. I think we repeated this 3x … then I asked them, “Do you think the little boy could feel your love?” … a confident and resounding “YES!” ensued and we were *almost* able to gently move forward into our lesson on Mozart…
But, not before another little boy “Jack” asked if we could send some love to his dog that died recently … So, I once again asked all the children to place their hands on their hearts and gently inhale while thinking of “Jack’s” dog – and anyone or anything else they wanted to send love to – and then we all exhaled more breathy love out into the universe!
Mind you, I am currently working in a school where it’s okay to talk about and share thoughts of God, and many of these young people are familiar with that language … but I imagine that it would be equally powerful and completely okay, in other situations, to replace the word “God” with “LOVE” … equally profound, universally understood (whether or not it’s felt regularly by all of us is another conversation/post) … but, for me personally, GOD and LOVE are one in the SAME.
I’m one that believes that there is meaning in just about everything …
Maybe not always, and necessarily, profound meaning …
But…
if you’re one to remain open to it or to concocting a meaningful interpretation of what presents itself – then it (meaning) will often come…
Let’s take these sweet and spicy little gingerbread heart cookies as an example…
My son and I thought it would be fun and comforting to make gingerbread cookies on this rainy December afternoon while confined to our home for the foreseeable future due to contracting Covid… (le sigh) …
Yes, they all started out and were “cookie-cuttered” to be perfect hearts … however, after they encountered the 360° heat in the oven, they became more like “blobbish” shapes – some of them maybe resembling hearts?
While subjected to the heat of the oven they expanded in size, distorted in shape, and became connected to the other “heart-ish” shaped ginger-spiced dough pieces…
And how nice is that, that a tray of freshly baked cookies can be received and interpreted as a potentially profound message/meaning/symbol on this day before the last day of 2022? …
As we humans move forward into a new year of limitless potential, with countless possibilities, miracles, loves and lessons… all waiting to be met, and experienced, and life-changing in some way perhaps …
Perhaps some of us are intrepid and eager for a fresh start …
maybe others of us are hesitant and stepping into 2023 with cautious optimism, one eye closed and the other eye peeking through the fingers covering it …
and then others may not care in the least – it’s just another day of another year in the spinning wheel of life!
No matter how we move forward with all of our beautiful, crazy, flawed, imperfect humanness… if we can take a small, sweet & spicy message from these gingerbread “hearts” maybe that message could be to let the warmth of love, friendship, compassion, hope, understanding – and all the positive and life-affirming attributes that humans are capable of – expand our hearts, allowing us to touch and connect with other sweet (and spicy) hearts in 2023!
Abundant love & blessings in 2023 my friends!
“It is indeed wise to believe that something WONDERFUL is about to happen!” –unknown author
It is the beginning of August and I’m well under way into my program at the Chaplaincy Institute in Berkeley, CA. At the end of this journey, I will receive my certification as an Interfaith Spiritual Director and then I will be able to competently (legitimately?) work with others in their own personal discernment and relationship to the Divine – or God/the Sacred/Source or whatever holy name one might refer to the Divine and the Divine’s presence in their own lives.
I emphasized the word “legitimately” above because, for many years now, I feel like I have already been accompanying others on their spiritual paths through my work in Liturgical Music and Music Ministry. I have played the piano, sang and led music for countless weekend Masses, funerals, weddings and other liturgical events. I lead hundreds of small children in song at the church school where I teach music – teaching them inspiring and heart-centered songs that bring messages of hope, peace, human-connection and awareness of others that may or may not be like us.
So, I say legitimately because, after certification, I will hopefully be able to make some sort of sustaining living/personal income while working in an “official” capacity as a Spiritual Director, like many in my life whom I call mentors and friends. I will be able to go into various settings and circumstances (retreat centers, prisons, places of worship, etc.) and provide Spiritual Direction to those who might be seeking it, with substantial education and training under my belt.
When I was asked to integrate creativity and spirituality in some artistic medium for my Spiritual Director program, the image on the canvas pictured above was what came through me – from the Divine, into my heart, my mind, and then out through my hands and fingers that were holding the brush… I would say guiding the brush, but really… I was not guiding anything… I was being led… and I followed.
The following is the description that I wrote to accompany this experience, and describe this Image of God that I created one Friday night while being purposefully open and listening to soft music in the quiet of my room…
“I am a 49-year-old woman who sees God in my life as everything above me, below me, around me and within me. God, to me, is the Beginning, the Alpha and the Omega, the Source of all life and the very breath we breathe. God is the bestower of darkness and light and all that is life-giving and good… the Creator of all life and the Spirit of Love. God is our forward motion and our Peace when we are still. Neither female or male – and both female and male. God is love… pure and perfect love.”
I was having dinner with a very dear friend last night and we were talking about my experience last weekend working with the Compassion Prison Project (CPP) team and going inside the Valley State Prison in Chowchilla, California for two days to meet and hold space with some of the men who are currently housed in that facility…
In our dinner conversation, my friend rightfully observed that I had not put out or said anything publicly about it since that initial video clip (on Facebook) that I made right before heading into the prison facility on the first day… and she’s right…
And to be honest, I think it’s likely because I’m not quite sure what to say about the entire experience that could do it any form of justice…
but, what I CAN say is that it was LIFE-CHANGING for me …
Really! How does one accurately put into words all of the little/big miracles observed and felt…
the countless and quietly profound movements of the Divine witnessed …
the many visual, “right-in-front-of-your-face” affirmations of what the power of sharing a little bit of love and compassion can do…
the many bridges of healing and of better understanding built on the mere acknowledgment that we humans really DO have so much MORE in common with each other than not…
What I CAN initially express off the top of my head and my heart is that I now know where it is that I need to be… the calling that I need to answer (among many other callings!) … the work that I need to be doing, that my heart needs to be a part of … and so it is now that I can place myself deliberately and firmly on that path of learning what I need to do so that I can do it… immediately!
In that setting and situation, within those prison walls, for those two precious days earlier this month (April 2022), I felt so competent, confident, and ON FIRE while holding space for, and sitting/standing in circle with – in solidarity with – others on my team and those we were serving, who are all bravely and intently stepping up and stepping forward into a new way of connecting with others…
Stepping into, and boldly facing, the many challenges and adversities that afflict the human experience … and then RISING ABOVE them and peeling away the years…
the generations…
the centuries of the dark/shadow side of the human conditions… the parts of our human condition that promote ugliness, misunderstandings, a lack of the desire to understand, oppression, intolerance, hatred – insert any harmful and fear-driven term of adversity here ____________.
It is now time!
Well, to be quite frank, it was actually TIME a long time ago, but sometimes we humans are slow on the uptake…
So, again I say, it is NOW TIME … and we need to begin!
My friends… I am more than willing and happy to dialogue… to share in this conversation with you… to share more of my experiences with you … and I am quite certain that I will share more and more as I feel called and inspired to…
but for now I really am still processing… stay tuned…
With love. ❤️
***if you wish to learn more about Compassion Prison Project and the work that we do, please click on the following link:
Welcome to my website – something that has been being actively created in my heart and mind for the past few years and it is only now that I have been inspired to the point to actually make it come to life!
Technology is not a good friend of mine… yet! But with the help of good friends who know more about these things than I, here it is… alive and a work in progress!
I love to connect with people, learn about their stories and their paths up to the point where it intersects with mine… please reach out to me if you feel so inspired. I happily welcome gentle constructive criticism, delivered with respect and good intention.
I love this thought so much that I had it tattooed on my right arm Sept 2021
As I have moved into mid-life, I have become more at ease with moving about in the world, honoring my truest self as much as I feel safe and called to do so. I have heard it said that the 40’s for a woman are often some of the best years… I would concur!
And I am pretty certain that as I move into the next decade in a couple of years, I will still continue to feel the same… deepening the love and respect I am learning to have for myself and never shying away from honoring my truth and feeling free to speak it, but with love and kindness as much as possible.
